FAQ

Preparing for a Mediation

The prospect of reaching a mutually acceptable outcome in mediation primarily depends on two things: (1) pre-mediation preparation and, (2) the willingness of the parties to work together. The following information will help you with the former and give you an appreciation for the latter.

1. Consider Whether You Have a Dispute, a Conflict, or Both

The terms dispute and conflict are commonly used interchangeably, but it is very helpful when preparing for mediation to make a clear distinction between the two.

• A Dispute: An argument or debate over contending views, positions, or interests and is related to rights and responsibilities. If you have a dispute, the outcome you are seeking is resolution of the issues.
• A Conflict: Discord or strife resulting in a severance of friendly relations. If you have a conflict, the outcome you are seeking is reconciliation of the relationship.

If you have both, you need to prepare for both resolution and reconciliation.

2. Understand Your Interests

One of the most important things that you can do to prepare for mediation is to know what are your needs and interests. Before you can identify your interests, you have to separate them from your positions (i.e., proposed solutions).

• An Interest: What you want to gain from mediation. It is that which must be satisfied in order for you to say “yes” to any proposal, counter-proposal, or settlement offer.
• A Position: How you expect an interest to be met. While your interest may have many ways to be met, any single position only prescribes one of those ways.

Take time well in advance of the mediation to intentionally consider your interests and needs, and prepare yourself to adjust them as the mediation process unfolds. Then spend some earnest time thinking about all the various ways they can be satisfied. This will help you to be open and flexible in finding solutions to meet your interests and increase your chances of arriving at an outcome that is mutually acceptable.

3. Consider Not Only Your Own Interests, But Those of the Other Party

Mediation is about finding solutions that will work for all parties. It is a solution-making process. Thus, the greater your understanding of the other party’s feelings, perspectives, and interests the better you will be able to create a solution that everyone can agree upon.

Take time before the mediation to try to understand what a solution would look like for the other party. Try to anticipate their essentials and non-essentials. This will help you be more creative in developing options and finding solutions.

Look for shared goals and interests. Many times parties come to mediation with very similar goals and interests, but have very different positions or ideas about how they should be met. When both parties begin to look for mutual ways that benefit the other, the mediation process becomes a powerful opportunity for resolution and reconciliation.

4. Know Your Essentials from Your Non-Essentials

When trying to resolve a dispute or reconcile a conflict, it is crucial for you to know what is essential to you and what is not. The more honest you are in identifying the non-essentials the better off you will be.

Knowing your essentials and non-essentials will keep you on track and focused and prepare you to be flexible and creative in reaching an outcome acceptable to you and the other party. You will also find it helpful to spend time thinking through the best and worst outcomes that are possible should you not reach a mediated agreement.

5. Acknowledge, But Control, Your Emotions

Disputes and conflicts produce emotions. The emotional content of a controversy has the potential to bring out the best and worst in people. Negative emotions can cause people to become ineffective and unproductive when trying to seek solutions to problems.

Therefore, as you contend with your emotions, try to work through them as best you can prior to the mediation in order to minimize their becoming a stumbling block to resolution and/or reconciliation.

6. Gather and Organize All Pertinent Information

Prior to the mediation conference, you and the other party should gather all pertinent information sufficient to make informed decisions about options for resolution and/or reconciliation.

• If there is information you need from the other party, ask them for it.
• Likewise, if you receive a request for information from the other party, be generous and timely in giving it to them.

It is common for the mediator to help with these informal information exchanges.